ONLY SOCIAL MEDIA AND WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO SEE. BUT WHAT ABOUT REAL LIFE?
The world is speeding up, references are evolving, and social media today is where people pour out their need to be seen, to be heard, to prove that they exist. But what happens if we use the socials to help people get back to meeting up in person? This is the path, full of humanity and real contacts, that the Cenas Adivina project follows. It starts from the virtual sphere, with the objective of bringing people back to the pleasure of shaking hands, around a laid table, ‘in skin and bone’. Inspired by the lunches held up at grandma’s house, this project embraces the awareness that languages change, as do tools, and it uses them as an amplifier to give a voice back to the importance of human contact, free from stereotypes and false expectations.
Social media has become the place where people satisfy the need to be seen, heard, to prove that they exist. But what if we use it to get people back to meeting one another in real life?
There is no crusade or desire to return to the past in the way Silvia and Ana told us about their project, what emerged instead was the very lively and contagious desire to share something they love very much, protecting it from the risk of being lost. What Cenas Adivina does is add to the languages of the present the memory that we are not just bytes: we are wonderfully human and that savouring our humanity remains one of the most extraordinary experiences.
Cenas Adivina: what is it?
“Cenas Adivina was created in 2014 as a space in which to chat with friends during a dinner, while drinking a glass of wine and sharing life experiences . The idea, initially private, spread via Instagram, attracting great interest and requests for participation. It grew so popular that Silvia realised that this intimate space had to change shape and open its doors to anyone who wanted to participate in a polite and respectful way.
Now open to the public, Cenas Adivina is a format where an expert and guests exchange knowledge starting from a theme, spontaneously and without scripts. Since 2015, Cenas Adivina has been touring Spain also based on the input of an increasingly large community, which provides spaces and opportunities for meetings. Since 2019, with Ana’s support, it has been enriched with a new stable reference in the city of San Sebastian, with Cenas Adivina San Sebastian.“
In a world of hyper-connections, which at times makes us feel lost, the heart of our project lies in simplicity: creating spaces in which to really meet, listen to each other and reconnect in an authentic way.
Let’s start with the most symbolic gesture that underpins the Cenas Adivina project: the hug. A simple gesture but, on closer inspection, one that is increasingly becoming rare, as if society today were conforming to systematic distance. How much does such an apparently small gesture affect the perception of reality?
“Each Cena Adivina begins with a hug and ends with a hug. Today we live out the paradox whereby on the one hand we are bombarded by a continuous virtual connection and, at the same time, we are increasingly frozen when it comes to managing real human contact. So the hug becomes a simple and functional gesture to bring all guests back to a dimension in which you become aware, even with the body, of the reality with which you are about to interact. The magic of this project is to restore the focus on the act of welcoming others, making them feel at home. There is something insurmountable about meeting someone beyond the virtual sphere; not just meeting, but touching, hugging, listening, feeling, allowing yourself the luxury of being honestly and freely who you are”
There is something insurmountable about meeting someone beyond the virtual sphere; not just meeting, but touching, hugging, listening, feeling, allowing yourself the luxury of being who you are.
Your #sisterhood is a concrete example of how much a hug can make a big difference in life. Tell us a little about how you came about choosing…
“Yes, that’s right. It happened during a Cena Adivina organised in San Sebastian and, as usual, when we met, we hugged one another. From the very first moment we felt a very beautiful energy, which helped us perceive an important complicity.
We have strengthened it over the years, it first becoming a friendly relationship and eventually bringing us here, to carry out this project together. Starting with a hug, we opened the doors of our homes, our families and our hearts until we came to share a dream. This is how the Cenas Adivina San Sebastian adventure began.”
Starting with a hug, we opened the doors of our homes, our families and our hearts until we came to share a dream.
What impressed us so much about your project is that the meeting with the expert at some point, magically, gives way to an even more incredible experience: the freedom to reveal oneself and the awareness of the other…
“We start from a very simple belief: everyone has something to tell, a story to share, a contribution to make. The responsibility we have is to create the right environment to make everyone feel comfortable, to express themselves freely and show themselves for who they are. Often at the end of the evening, guests tell us that they have shared much more than they had imagined at the beginning. It’s true, we always start with a theme, but then, what prevails at some point, is the extraordinary connection that is created between absolute strangers.
This happens because those who attend the meetings really listen, they pay attention to what the others are saying. We are 100% focused on the person speaking, on their story, on what they convey: this makes the connection powerful. And in the end it turns out that we are all more similar than we think, with the same worries, the same anxieties, the same desire to feel good.”
We are 100% focused on the person speaking, on their story, on what they are saying, on what they convey: this makes the connection powerful.
Social media today seems to have become the only place where a life, a career, a skill really exists. Your own project was born because of the social resonance it has had. What can you tell me about this topic?
“Today social networks play a role in human interactions and in the way society is defined and built, this is a fact that we do not want to ignore or oppose. What is interesting for us, however, is to also set up a narrative that we consider constructive. People need to rediscover human contact and this is the part we try to work on. One of the elements that characterises our dinners is the absence of mobile phones. This is a way to help people really be there, really be present. Very often we are not really present in everyday life. We live life constantly connected but, paradoxically, we are increasingly disconnected. Being there means living in the moment, practising today what is known as “Mindfulness”.
What is always fascinating in our dinners is that special connection that is created between people who, until a few moments before, did not know each other. And, as we said, this happens because, when we are there, we really listen to each other. We are not distracted, we are completely present, attentive to what the other person is sharing. We immerse ourselves in the stories, in the faces, in the thoughts of those in front of us and this makes the connection deep. In a world of hyper-connections, which at times makes us feel lost, the heart of our project lies in simplicity: creating spaces where people can really meet, listen to each other, and reconnect in an authentic way.”
We live life constantly connected but, paradoxically, we are increasingly disconnected. Being there means living in the moment, practising today what is known as “Mindfulness.”
But why, of all ways, did you choose to do it through dinners?
“This is a project that was strongly inspired by my grandmother – you can still see the love and gratitude in Silvia’s eyes as she talks to us-. She would organise meetings at her home, to bring her friends together. She started from a very simple consideration: “If they’re friends of mine, they can be friends with each other,” because she saw wealth in the connection between people. Even my parents always had their doors open, with family lunches turning into long conversations in which everyone participated enthusiastically, because they were able to make everyone feel comfortable. The most important thing I learned was that, in the end, it doesn’t matter how nice the space is or how good the food is: the key is how you make people feel. This was why no one ever wanted to leave. We have talked about mindfulness, and today there are a thousand schools, theories, practices to get there, but for us, at home, it was simply sitting around the table and being together, without doing anything extraordinary. It was enough to be there, that’s where the magic was born.”
In the end, it doesn’t matter how nice the space is or how good the food is – the key is how you make people feel. This was why no one ever wanted to leave.
What is the contribution of change that you want to bring with the Cenas Adivina project to this delicate exchange between virtual and real?
“We are committed to creating an authentic space , where people can freely express themselves, be themselves and share their life experiences, and so the things that have shaped the person present. Every story, every experience is precious and deserves to be heard and valued. For us, this is the real luxury: being able to communicate, without fear of being judged, with respect, affection and kindness. And enriching ourselves, together, through dialogue.
We want to focus on the power of sharing and on people, on being human, so that they remain fundamental pillars of a society in which being ourselves is not a luxury reserved for the few, but a right for everyone.
We believe that what defines us is not only what we do, but how we live and interpret the world. Learning to connect again in a direct and honest way makes everything more tangible and shifts the spotlight back onto the common instinct to reach out whenever we can.”
The real luxury is being able to communicate without fear of being judged. We believe that what defines us is not only what we do, but how we live and interpret the world.
